tisdag 19 januari 2021

Book two, chapters 10-12: A knight with possible superpowers and a villain with bona fide superpowers no doubt about it

 King Rience of Northern Wales has a brother, called Nero, just like the famous Roman emperor. Nero now battles Arthur and his knights, and although the former's army is numerically superior, Arthur's is just so much better that they win anyway. 

However, apparently Nero was friends with King Lot of the Orkney Islands. If Lot had helped Nero, that would likely have been too much for Arthur. How fortunate for Arthur that Merlin continues his recent helpful streak; he goes to King Lot and starts prophesying so much that Lot becomes all distracted, and when finally he remembers that he was gonna help Nero beat Arthur and his knights, it's too late, Nero's army has been destroyed already.

King Lot, on hearing this, is ashamed (understandable). He decides to take his army and attack King Arthur even though it's too late to help Nero, thinking at least he can avenge his friend, and Arthur and his knights are gonna be really tired by now. Things don't work out as Lot planned though, since he's killed by Arthur's knight Pellinore, who chops his sword straight through Lot's helmet and head. (This doesn't seem feasible to me, but possibly Pellinore has a bit of super strength. More obvious superpowers soon to come in this story!) 

Next, there's this big family meeting, since all those involved in these recent battles are family too. Morgan le Fay sees her chance to pull the old switcheroo on Arthur's magic invulnerability-granting scabbard. Morgan is married to King Uriens, but she's got a secret boyfriend on the side, and decides that he better be invulnerable. Arthur suspects nothing.

 On his way home, King Arthur falls ill, and has his servants set up a pavillion where he can lay down and rest. A knight rides by, "making great dole". (In this day and age, men were not afraid of showing their emotions, that much is clear.) Arthur feels sorry for him, and asks him why he's so sad, but he won't tell, and just rides on. This pisses Arthur off! When Arthur wants to show compassion, he doesn't take no for an answer. So when he spots Sir Balin, Arthur orders him to chase down the doleful knight and bring him back, by force if necessary. 

Balin does as he's told. He finds the sad knight in the company of his girlfriend, and tells him that he has to go back to Arthur and tell the king about his sorrows. The knight goes why? I will just feel worse doing that, and it seems completely pointless. (Reasonable.) Balin says look, you gotta come with me, you gotta tell Arthur about your sorrow, or else I'll have to take you back by force.
The knight doesn't want to make a fight out of it, and goes back with Balin.

Right when the two reach King Arthur's pavillion again, an invisible knight runs up to them and impales the sad knight on a spear. Seriously! 

As the knight lies dying, he still manages to say a few last words to Sir Balin: The invisible murderer is called Garlon, and it is now up to Balin to finish the quest that the sorrowful knight was on before he was murdered. Balin should take his horse, which is a better horse than Balin's original one, ride back to the knight's girlfriend, and she'll inform him about the quest. Also, his name is Sir Herlew le Berbeus. 

King Arthur, who sadly never got the chance to hear Herlew tell him all about his sorrows, now bury him instead, whereas Balin dutifully takes up this new quest. 

 


söndag 3 januari 2021

Book two, chapters 7-9, where Balin is blamed and blamed

To recap: After many unnecessary and terribly stupid deaths, Sir Balin was unexpectedly reunited with his brother Sir Balan, who promised to help him kill the king of Northern Wales in order to get back into King Arthur's good graces.
However, I was too quick in finishing my last recap with "they ride off together"  - actually, they were just about to ride off together when a dwarf from Camelot rides up to them.

The dwarf asks who killed Sir Lancour and his girlfriend. Balin responds that he killed Lancour, but only because the latter insisted on jousting with him (remember, for the extremely stupid reason that Lancour was pissed off at Balin for being the better knight when it comes to magic sword pulling). He also explains that Lancour's girlfriend committed suicide. The dwarf goes on about how sad it is that Lancour is dead, because he was "one of the most valiantest [sic!] men that lived" (more like one of the pettiest), and also, his family will now chase Balin for vengeance. 

As the dwarf keeps lamenting Sir Lancour, suddenly King Mark of Cornwall comes along. When he sees the bodies of Lancour and his girlfriend on the ground, he, too, "made great sorrow" (this must feel increasingly awkward for Balin). He then has the bodies taken away for a splendid funeral, and finally we learn that Lancour's girlfriend was named Colombe (a rare example in this book of a female side character actually named, albeit not until her funeral). Balin and Balan comes along.

At the funeral, Merlin appears and immediately starts prophesying, because why not I guess.
"Here shall be in this place the greatest battle betwixt two knights that was or ever shall be, and the truest lovers, and yet none of them shall slay the other."
Merlin then writes their names on... the tomb... where Lancour and Colombe lie? In magic letters and all, so it's not like it's gonna wash off. Couldn't he put his prophecy somewhere else in the vincinity than on top of their tomb? Once again, Merlin is casually being a dick. Anyway, it's Launcelot and Tristram who will fight here. And them being the truest lovers is, of course, meant to refer to how Launcelot loved Guinivere so much and Tristram loved Isoud, but that's not what it sounds like. 

King Mark asks who Merlin is (since he barged in on the funeral and started prophesying and vandalizing the tomb without so much as introducing himself), but Merlin is all mysterious and won't tell. He only gives a really vague doom-gloom warning to Mark about the future (being a dick as usual), and then turns to Balin and blames him for not stopping Colombe from committing suicide (ok, that's fair). Merlin then doom-prophecies a bit more over Balin, saying he's gonna hurt a great knight and throw three kingdoms into poverty. After that, Merlin vanishes again. 

When the funeral is over and done with, King Mark rides to see King Arthur at Camelot, whereas Balin and Balan finally go to seek out King Rience of Norther Wales. 

On their way, Merlin comes up to them again, in disguise, and refuses to tell his name, but when he says he knows where they are going and that they will need his council they figure out who he is anyway. Merlin knows that King Rience is on his way with a bunch of knights to visit a Lady de Vance with whom he intends to have sexy-times. Balin and Balan lie in ambush for them, kill all Rience's bodyguards and bring him to Arthur. And finally, Sir Balin is back in Arthur's good graces!